Mr Rogers

Mister Rogers’ Neighbourhood was a 30 minute children’s TV show that broadcast in the United States from 1968 to 2001, a whopping 33 years, in which time creator, host and the show’s composer Fred Rogers produced 912 episodes over 31 seasons - an amazing 456 hours of content, 19 straight days of children’s tv programming. The show was aimed for 2 to 5 year olds and despite running for 33 years, garnered little success outside of the US.

Mister Rogers found novel, unique and relatable ways for children to learn about many different topics. He spoke directly to the camera taking the viewer on tours of factories, demonstrating experiments, crafts, and music, and interacting with his friends. Also, Rogers tried to help children learn about difficult emotions such as anger, fear and jealousy, and didn’t shy away from death, divorce or war. Famously, in 1969 when the United States was torn by racial segregation, Rogers included François Clemmons as a friendly neighbourhood policeman, Clemmons becoming the first black actor to have a recurring TV role.

One of the things that Rogers was best loved and is best remembered for was his kind and caring manner. Rogers always believed it important to be himself, allegedly remarking "One of the greatest gifts you can give anybody is the gift of your honest self. I also believe that kids can spot a phony a mile away."

Despite production ending in 2000, and being permanently removed off the air in 2008, five years after Rogers’ death, the show continues to be loved by subsequent generations and has gained worldwide fame thanks to the internet. YouTube has hours and hours of Mr Rogers content, uploaded by fans, and video streaming platform Twitch have run streaming marathons; in 2017 they streamed a 18-day long marathon, and then in 2018, to celebrate what would have been Rogers’ 90th birthday they streamed 90 episodes over a 45 hour period.

It seems that Mister Rogers’ fame has spread from the United States online as adults of my generation find solace, from these complex and difficult times, in the words once intended for 2 to 5-year olds. I think one of the things that really helps people was Rogers’ ability to address complex and difficult feelings in delicate and easily processed ways.

Let me give you an example: he once said "In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers." It’s simple, actionable advice to complex yet every day problems.

Probably the most famous quote of Rogers’, which has now become a meme which pops up whenever there is some great moment of difficulty and anguish: a mass shooting, a terrorist attack or a pandemic; It went viral after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012 and was circulated widely after the Manchester Arena bombing in 2017.

 It’s his heartwarming advice to look for the helpers. It was his antidote to the frightening, worrying, disturbing photos and videos that accompany difficult news headlines.

The quote is this:
"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers—so many caring people in this world."

This delicate but ingenious way of translating the complex adult world into terms that children can understand. At the same time, as before, it’s actionable - there’s something to do. And what’s more “Look for the helpers” is a tactic that diverts a child’s distress toward safety.

But it was exactly that. It was aimed at helping children through distressing times that they couldn’t understand. For us adults, there’s a lot more to be done.

My plot to skip breakfast // take over the world!

When I tell people that I’m fasting they often look at me like I’ve just explained my plan to overthrow the government with a can of deodorant and a cigarette lighter.

“So you just skip breakfast?” Yeah! And sometimes lunch or even dinner if I feel like it, to which there’s always the age-old retort of “But won’t that make you fat?” Well, I don’t know. You tell me! (Kellogg’s tell us that skipping breakfast is unhealthy. I wonder why a breakfast cereal company would tell us that?)

Once they’ve got their head around the idea that skipping the odd meal isn’t that big of a deal, that you get used to it and that it really doesn’t matter when you eat your calories, they start questioning your motives, as if your choice of feeding habits has to be justified before the world; and of course it’s widely assumed that it’s to lose weight and have a shit hot body for when you take your shirt of. Because that’s why anybody does anything?

Then they seem to get hung up on the details. What can you drink? Can you exercise whilst fasted? When should you eat? For how long should you fast?

Fasting is simple. Really simple. You just don’t eat for a while; 16, 18, 23, 46 hours. Whatever suits you best. And that’s the beauty of it. It fits around you or, at least, you make it fit around you. Then you eat for a while; eight hours, six hours, some people just eat once per day. During that time, you can mostly eat what you like. Of course, after the effort and hunger of not eating for 18 hours, you don’t what to mess it all up with pizza and ice-cream. Okay, maybe you do but why would you? Maybe just once a week.

A great thing is that you don’t have too long to eat, so you can’t eat that much. If you do a 16:8 fast, then you have time maybe for two meals and a snack. Six hours allows you even less and if you go for a 23:1 fast, you eat until you get your fill then it’s a strict diet of willpower until tomorrow. For this reason you have to make sure you get all your protein, fats, carbs and micronutrients when you can.

When you’re not eating, life is even simpler. Just drink plenty of water, black coffee, teas (no milk, sugar or honey - no calories!) and focus on not eating – you’d be surprised how many office birthdays, breakfasts or free samples get sprung on you when you’re fasting. Just suck it up, be strong and don’t eat. One of the key things is to get plenty of liquids in. Ideally some good mineral water, rather than tap stuff. This helps. Trust me.


The thing I love about fasting is that it resets your relationship with food and eating. When I spend half my waking hours feeling hungry and looking forward to that sweet, sweet first bite of food, I try to savour the feeling, so that when I do come to eat I’m not going to blow all that effort on junk. Also, you learn to live with the hunger. Delayed gratification, I’m sure we can mostly agree, is mentally empowering and overcoming struggle (like being hungry for a few hours) is quite satisfying. Plus, there’s nothing better than turning up hungry for a good meal – you enjoy it even more.

On this note, skipping meals is something of a money saver. Way to turn poverty into a dietary lifestyle choice! As a result, we can focus more on the quality of the nutrition. The money you save on cornflakes, cereal bars and pasta, you can use to buy good ingredients, like good oils, fresh fruit and veg and even a grass-fed juicy steak bred just for you after your 23 god-forsaken hours of fasting.

But it’s not just money you save! The time you save by drinking coffee instead of preparing and eating breakfast. And drinking coffee instead of preparing eating lunch. And drinking coffee instead of shopping for snacks. (I think you get it, you’ll be drinking a lot of coffee – black, no sugar, no shit!) You can use your time to make yourself one damn good meal, that you’ll enjoy even more because you’ve endured 23 hours of not eating.

Honestly, there’s probably plenty of science to back up the benefits of fasting – or maybe not. Who knows these days. But all I can tell you is that, once I got a bit used to being hungry, fasting has changed the way I think about food and eating, and leading a healthy lifestyle in general. Mentally I fell stronger. Hell, if I can overcome hunger for 23 hours, I can take on anything!

Try it for a week. You literally have nothing to lose. 

Training in Lockdown: an Expert Guide


"Most of you have read about me or heard of my feats of strength... all on prison swill!"
proclaims Charles Bronson (now known as Charles Salvador) in his 2002 book 'Solitary Fitness’, before going on to promise that the book is “designed to give you maximum strength while helping you maintain maximum agility and speed.”

And we know the book contains no lies, after all Her Majesty’s Prison Service and the Home Office of the United Kingdom are witnesses as to what Bronson has done, “they monitor me 24/365” he says, “No one could take me to court and say this is all a load of lies - I’d call 10,000 prison officers as my witnesses”.

Britain’s most notorious prisoner knows all about isolation. He’s spend almost his entire adult life in prison, and a large amount of that in solitary confinement. It made sense, then, when I considered my fitness options during the coronavirus lockdown, that I’d go to the wisdom of possibly the only man on earth who knows so much about both fitness and confinement. “I’m in solitary confinement,” he writes “locked up in a room 12 x 8ft. This is my life!”

“I pick up a muscle mag, I start to laugh and I wipe my arse with it - it’s a joke and a big con, and they call me a CRIMINAL!” he declares, advising his readers to avoid protein shakes, diets, pills and steroids. He even goes on to tell us not to waste money on expensive trainers or gym memberships. “Once you’ve read my fitness routine you’ll never be ripped off again”.

So, what exactly are Bronson’s secrets, allegedly “legendary throughout the penal system”?

First, Bronson talks us through a simple stretching routine, limbering up the legs, back and shoulders, before moving on to Solitary Basics.

The eight basic but important exercises which Bronson swears by are the presss-up, sit-up, squat, squat-thrusts, burpees, star jumps, step-ups and the handstand press-up; nothing that any half-decent personal trainer could criticise.

On top of that, Bronson adapts many typical gym exercises to the conditions of solitary confinement, using resistance from opposite arms for bicep curls, lifting chairs and other small items of furniture as well as towels or t-shirts to create resistance. All of it’s logical and all of it’s explained well - and the photos of Storm and Bronson’s doodles obviously help.

The book, however, does include some other more outlandish exercises. Dan Lurie, on his GoodReads review, gives it five stars writing “The most bizarre fitness book I've ever read. Covers exercises for every part of a man. And I mean EVERY part”.

one user on Redditor notes “It’s the only exercise book I’ve ever seen with dick exercise in.”

What’s more, the book includes illustrations by Bronson himself and ‘90s fitness model and TV Gladiator Storm appears demonstrating many of the exercises.

As bizarre and absurd as the book may be, including Bronson’s strange philosophies on health and fitness, the feats of strength he boasts (knocking out a cow, punching through bulletproof glass, 172 press-ups in 60 seconds) are far from shoddy and why not listen to the nearest thing we’ll probably ever have as a Confinement Trainer.

If you want to get into all the minutiae and day-long fitness routines, as well as an insight into the mind of the Britain’s most dangerous criminal (plus those dick exercises), then the book’s worth a go. If not, perhaps stick to the eight basics and do PE with Joe Wicks…

'And the People Stayed Home' by Kitty O'Meara

 This poem has recently gone viral - and for good reason. It's a beautiful summing up of the effect of the coronovirus crisis on the world, and on all of us. 

We can use the crisis to try to find our passions once more. Get to know - and maybe even learn to love - ourselves. 

And the People Stayed Home by Kitty O'Meara

And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced.
Some met their shadows.
And the people began to think differently.
And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.
And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.

The Parable of the Chinese Farmer

During this time I saw a nice parable, as told by Alan Watts, the Parable of the Chinese Farmer. It’s an old story but good enough to bear repeating. Sometimes good things come out of bad things, and most bad things aren’t nearly as bad as we fear they will be. It goes like this:

Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.” The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”

The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.” The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”

The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad — because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.

Book notes: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

The cleverest thing about Mark Manson's 'Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck' is probably its title. The cover's bright orange and has the "F" word on the front page. It grabs your fucking attention.

The book failed to provide anything particularly challenging any schools of thought. It fits nicely in the growing trend of Stoic philosophy, accepting responsibility for our own actions to situations and counter to the "participation trophy" snowflake generation that are supposedly now reaching adulthood, lost and in need of a pat on the head.

It's a very surface look at stoic philosophy and whilst there is nothing wrong with any of the points Manson makes, there was nothing that hadn't been said before. When I read a self-help book - especially one with "f*ck" on the front cover - I expect to be challenged, and there was nothing here that I felt particularly challenged me.

That said, the book works as a subtle reminder of how we should try to conduct ourselves in this ever-complex world. It reminds us to carefully choose what we do and don't give a fuck about and it serves well as an introduction to the philosophy, perhaps for a younger audience.

The writing itself is good, barring the fact that Manson wrote perched on his pedestal. He helps us to consider how we could and should act in various situations, illustrated by some relatable stories.

I can see and understand how Manson has had such success with this book. It's honest and to the point, as well as catching the eye on a shelf of drab books. It's an enjoyable and easy enough read for someone who is willing to reflect on their conduct and philosophy and feeling satisfied without delving too deeply.

Below are the notes I took from this book. The quotes and lessons serve well as reminders of a Stoic approach to life.

You too can read along on the #StayAtHome Book Club Discord server. You don't have to be reading the book of the month as there are channels for discussing whatever you're reading. It's a place to share and motivate one another, and everyone is welcome!

Book Notes

The Subtle Art of Giving a Fuck - Mark Manson

 

Pg. 7 Our society today, through the wonders of consumer culture and hey-look-my-life-is-cooler-than-yours social media, has bred a whole generation of people who believe that having these negative experiences - anxiety, fear, guilt etc.  - is totally not okay.

Pg. 9 The desire for more positive experiences is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.

Pg. 11 The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The detail of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.


Pg. 21 I see practical enlightenment as becoming comfortable with the idea that some suffering is always inevitable - that no matter what you do, life is comprised of failures, loss, regrets, and even death. Because once you become comfortable with all the shit that life throws at you (and it will throw a lot of shit, trust me), you become invincible in a sort of low-level spiritual way. After all, the only way to overcome pain is to first learn how to bear it.

Pg. 27 We suffer because suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred age for inspiring change. We have evolved to always live with a certain degree of dissatisfaction and insecurity, because it’s the mildly dissatisfied and insecure creature that’s going to do the most work to innovate and survive. We are wired to become dissatisfied with whatever we have and satisfied by only what we do not have. This constant dissatisfaction has kept our species fighting and striving, building and conquering. So no - our own pain and misery aren’t a bug of human evolution; they’re a feature.

Pg. 29 And this is what’s so dangerous about a society that coddles itself more and more from the inevitable discomfort of life: we lose the benefits of experiencing healthy doses of pain, a loss that disconnects us from the reality of the world around us.

Pg. 31 Problems never stop; they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded. Happiness comes from solving problems. The keyword here is “solving.” If you’re avoiding your problems or feel like you don’t have any problems. Then you’re going to make yourself miserable. If you feel like you have problems that you can’t solve, you will likewise make yourself miserable. The secret sauce is in the the solving of the problems, not in not having problems in the first place.

To be happy we need to have something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action; it’s an activity, not something that is passively bestowed upon you, not something you magically discover in a top-ten article on the Huffington Post or from any specific guru or teacher.

Pg. 32 True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.

Pg. 35 This is why our problems are recursive and unavoidable. The person you marry is the person you fight with. The house you buy is the house you repair. The dream job is the job you stress over. Everything come with an inherent sacrifice - whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad. What we gain is also what we lose. What create our positive experiences will define our negative experiences.

Pg. 37 Real, serious, lifelong fulfillment and meaning have to be earned through the choosing and managing of our struggles. Whether you suffer from anxiety or loneliness or obsessive-compulsive disorder or a dickhead boss who ruins half of your waking hours every day, the solution lies in the acceptance and active engagement of that negative experience - not the avoidance of it, not the salvation from it.

Pg. 56 The truth is that there’s no such thing as a personal problem. If you’ve got a problem, chances are millions of other people have had it in the past, have it now, and are going to have it in the future. Likely people you know too. That doesn’t minimise the problem or mean that it shouldn’t hurt. I t doesn’t mean you aren’t legitimately a victim in some circumstances.
It just means that you’re not that special.

Pg. 57 It’s strange that in an age when we are more connect than ever, entitlement seems to be at an all-time high. Something about recent technology seems to allow our insecurities to run amok like never before.
The more freedom we’re given to express ourselves, the more we want to be free of having to deal with anyone who may disagree with us or upset us. The more exposed we are to opposing viewpoints, the more we seem to get upset that those other viewpoints exist. The easier and more problem-free our lives become, the more we seem to feel entitled for them to get even better.

Pg. 59 The problem is that the pervasiveness of technology and mass marketing is screwing up a lot of people’s expectations for themselves. The inundation of the exceptional makes people feel worse about themselves. Makes them feel that they need to be more extreme, more radical, and more self-assured to get noticed or even matter.

Pg. 60 Technology has solved old economic problems by giving us new psychological problems. The internet has not just open-sourced information; it has also open-sourced insecurity, self-doubt and shame.

Pg. 77 We’re apes. We think we’re all sophisticated with out toaster ovens and designer footwear, but we’re just a bunch of finely ornamented apes. And because we are apes, we instinctively measure ourselves against others and vie for status. The question is not whether we evaluate ourselves against others; rather the question is by what standard do we measure ourselves?

Pg. 94 Choosing to not consciously interpret events in our lives is still an interpretation of the events of our lives. Choose to not respond to the events in our lives is still a response to the events in our lives… it’s your responsibility to interpret the meaning of the event and choose a response.

Pg. 98 Fault is past tense. Responsibility is present tense. Fault results from choices that have already been made. Responsibility results from the choices you’re currently making, every second of every day.

Pg. 119 Instead of looking to be right all the time, we should be looking for how we’re wrong all the time. Because we are. Being wrong opens us up to the possibility of change. Being wrong brings the opportunity for growth.

Pg. 119 We don’t actually know what a positive or negative experience is. Some of the most difficult and stressful moments of our lives also end up being the most formative and motivating. Some of the best and most gratifying experiences of our lives are also the most distracting and demotivating. Don’t trust your conception of positive/negative experiences. All that know for certain is what hurts in the moment  and what doesn’t. And that’s not worth much.

Pg. 136 There’s a certain comfort that comes with knowing how you fit in the world. Anything that shakes up that comfort - even if it could be potentially make your life better - is inherently scary.

Pg. 149 When Pablo Picasso was an old man, he was sitting in a cafe in Spain, doodling on a used napkin. He was nonchalant about the whole thing, drawing whatever amused him in that moment. Some women sitting near him was looking on in awe. After a few moments, Picasso finished his coffee and crumpled up the napkin to throw away as he left.
The woman stopped him. “Wait,” she said. “Can I have that napkin you were just drawing on? I’ll pay your for it.”
“Sure,” Picasso replied. “Twenty thousand dollars.”
The Woman’s head jolted back as if he had just flung a brick at her. “What? It took you like two minutes to draw that.” “No,” Picasso said. “It took me over sixty years to draw this.” He stuffed the napkin in his pocket and walked out of the cafe.
Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you’ve failed at something.

Pg. 171 We all must give a fuck about something, in order to value something. And to value something we must reject what is not that something. To value X, we must reject non-X.
That rejection is an inherent and necessary part of maintain our values, and therefore our identity. We are defined by what we choose to reject. And if we reject nothing, we essentially have no identity at all.

Pg. 187 Pursuing a breadth of experience denies us the opportunity to experience the rewards of depth of experience. There are some experience that you can have only when you’ve lived in the same place for five years, when you’ve been with the same person for over a decade, when you’ve been working on the same skill or craft for half your lifetime.

Pg. 208 Bukowski once wrote, “We’re all going to die, all of us. What a circus! That alone should make us love each other, but it doesn’t! We are terrorised and flattens by life’s trivialities; we are eaten up by nothing.”

Episode 7: #QuarantineCast1 - We must imagine ourselves happy

In the first of my #QuarantineCast series, whilst we reflect on the world during the Covid-19 coronavirus crisis, I look at what we can learn from ancient Greek myths, Roman philosophers and some words of wisdom in from literature.

We also compare the differences of how Spain and the UK are dealing with the virus and the different lockdown measures in place.

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