"Most of you have read about me or heard of my feats of strength... all on prison swill!"
proclaims Charles Bronson (now known as Charles Salvador) in his 2002 book 'Solitary Fitness’, before going on to promise that the book is “designed to give you maximum strength while helping you maintain maximum agility and speed.”
And we know the book contains no lies, after all Her Majesty’s Prison Service and the Home Office of the United Kingdom are witnesses as to what Bronson has done, “they monitor me 24/365” he says, “No one could take me to court and say this is all a load of lies - I’d call 10,000 prison officers as my witnesses”.
Britain’s most notorious prisoner knows all about isolation. He’s spend almost his entire adult life in prison, and a large amount of that in solitary confinement. It made sense, then, when I considered my fitness options during the coronavirus lockdown, that I’d go to the wisdom of possibly the only man on earth who knows so much about both fitness and confinement. “I’m in solitary confinement,” he writes “locked up in a room 12 x 8ft. This is my life!”
“I pick up a muscle mag, I start to laugh and I wipe my arse with it - it’s a joke and a big con, and they call me a CRIMINAL!” he declares, advising his readers to avoid protein shakes, diets, pills and steroids. He even goes on to tell us not to waste money on expensive trainers or gym memberships. “Once you’ve read my fitness routine you’ll never be ripped off again”.
So, what exactly are Bronson’s secrets, allegedly “legendary throughout the penal system”?
First, Bronson talks us through a simple stretching routine, limbering up the legs, back and shoulders, before moving on to Solitary Basics.
The eight basic but important exercises which Bronson swears by are the presss-up, sit-up, squat, squat-thrusts, burpees, star jumps, step-ups and the handstand press-up; nothing that any half-decent personal trainer could criticise.
On top of that, Bronson adapts many typical gym exercises to the conditions of solitary confinement, using resistance from opposite arms for bicep curls, lifting chairs and other small items of furniture as well as towels or t-shirts to create resistance. All of it’s logical and all of it’s explained well - and the photos of Storm and Bronson’s doodles obviously help.
The book, however, does include some other more outlandish exercises. Dan Lurie, on his GoodReads review, gives it five stars writing “The most bizarre fitness book I've ever read. Covers exercises for every part of a man. And I mean EVERY part”.
one user on Redditor notes “It’s the only exercise book I’ve ever seen with dick exercise in.”
What’s more, the book includes illustrations by Bronson himself and ‘90s fitness model and TV Gladiator Storm appears demonstrating many of the exercises.
As bizarre and absurd as the book may be, including Bronson’s strange philosophies on health and fitness, the feats of strength he boasts (knocking out a cow, punching through bulletproof glass, 172 press-ups in 60 seconds) are far from shoddy and why not listen to the nearest thing we’ll probably ever have as a Confinement Trainer.
If you want to get into all the minutiae and day-long fitness routines, as well as an insight into the mind of the Britain’s most dangerous criminal (plus those dick exercises), then the book’s worth a go. If not, perhaps stick to the eight basics and do PE with Joe Wicks…
No comments:
Post a Comment